Scary?

Chess Tournament

 

I drove my 91 year old friend to a chess tournament. He made it to the finals. He had to play a 7 year old Chinese boy. The 7 year old beat him.

 

They asked the boy how long he had been playing. He said " Tournament chess"? they said "yes, " he said "3 years"

 

They asked friend and he said "85 years."

From my pal Dick Muny

Hi John:

Your blog wouln't take this brilliant piece of prose.

Maybe you can add it.  Just give me credit

Dick

There will never be another bestist friend.
#10 Hoverstraat with Absenth laced

Many a rule we did bend.
The times we shared can never ever be replaced
I love you John, I always will.
You taught me the beauty in all that swill.

Old Age vs Senility

Old age is when you forget to zip up your pants
Senility is when you forget to unzip them

What I’ve learned in my first 75 years of life

·        Happiness is good health and a short memory

·        Get a job you love and you will never have to work a day of your life

·        Never pass up a chance to take a leak

·        Never try to get a piece of toast out of the toaster with a fork

·        If you see a man with a hat on driving a car, avoid him at all costs

·        Exercise doesn’t make you live longer, it just seems longer

·        Seek the company of those who are searching for the truth and run away from those that have found it

·        According to the Upanishads (Indian book of wisdom), the four stages of life are:

1.      Sense of Wonder

2.      Search for Love

3.      Search for Meaning

4.      Courage

                                                                                         

·        The ocean refuses no river

The Ocean

When you are 30 and walking on the beach the waves gently tickle your ankles.

At 50 the waves occasionally bathe your knees but you don't think much of it.

Later you notice that the waves are deeper and sometimes lift you up and gently set you down.

One day you are picked up and are buoyant and float for a while, your toes touching the bottom now and then; not an unpleasant feeling. Later a large wave picks you up and carries you out some distance.  You are still buoyant but don't touch bottom very often.  Eventually your buoyancy is lost and your are treading water. You don't know how long you can keep it up, but you aren't too concerned

Songs

Blues

Well I woke up this morning

My Lexus wouldn’t start

Well I woke up this morning

Had a flat on my golf cart

The maid was 2 hours late

And my CDs have a bad rate

The wine cellar is on the fritz

I lost my reservation at the Ritz

I got the upper middle class blues

Oh yeah, Oh yeah

 Oh Yeah Baby!

Life

Born in an outhouse when I was 8 years old

Murdered my momma cause her milk was too cold

Ate crawfish guts in a pick up truck

Stayed drunk 60 years through just dumb luck

Went to the tractor pull

Ate possum on a stick

These damn pointy-head liberals

Just make me sick

I sure miss my little sis

Boy she could really kiss

Gonna get me a haircut

Sure it’ll be a mullet

I know I can’t rhyme too good

But see I didn’t go to Harvud